If you’re struggling with pornography addiction, it’s time to get the help and support you need. Our team at Neulia Compulsion Solutions can provide you with the resources and therapy you need to overcome your addiction and regain control of your life. Don’t let porn addiction keep you from living the life you deserve — learn more about how to take ownership of your life below and contact us today to get started with our porn addiction help services.
The Destructive & Chaotic Behavior of an Addict
An addict is often their own worst enemy. Their life can become chaotic. A lot of destruction can happen as a result of acting out behavior. Maybe you see this kind of aftermath in your own life — a lost relationship or a lost job. This is the kind of chaos that acting out can create. But oftentimes, an addict might try to minimize the damage by trying to imagine it’s not that big of a deal when it actually is. Sometimes the acting out behavior is causing so much damage that the addict becomes used to the damage, chaos, and destruction.
Sometimes, this behavior of acting out can cause major issues and problems — and the addict can be unaware of the true cause. He might look externally and say “It’s not really me causing this, it’s everyone else.” He can have a hard time taking responsibility in a way that prevents him from making good decisions. But the problems in the addict’s life are often a result of their own issues — internal factors, not external ones — that they are not really fully aware of.
The First Steps to Take Ownership of Your Life
While hard to do, if you are an addict, you can learn to take ownership of your actions and life. Taking ownership is hard for all humans — maybe even harder for an addict — as our pride tends to get in the way. But when there’s an especially looming issue or difficulty in your life, it’s important to look at yourself and ask, “Okay, what role am I playing in the drama or chaos that exists in my own life?”
A lot of times, you might not want to look internally and you might want to blame other people or things. You might not want to take responsibility for the difficulty, when in reality, it’s more effective to look and say something like, ”Okay, what really happened here…what brought me to this point?”
The Initial Discomfort
When you start to take ownership of your addiction, you’ll probably feel some significant discomfort at first. You might not like it and it will not be fun. Don’t expect to think, “Oh, this is so great.” You will probably feel internal pushback instead. Your mind might actually tell you that it’s not your fault, that everything’s just fine, and to not worry about it. You might not want to take ownership or responsibility. But when you don’t take responsibility, you’ll keep repeating the same patterns over and over.
Own Your Mistakes
If you make a mistake, just own it. Say, “I made a mistake. I apologize for that mistake. That was my fault.” For example, if you get angry, you might need to acknowledge that you have anger issues. Apologize, own your mistake, and look at what’s happening inside. Ask yourself, “What’s going on here? Why am I acting this way? Where’s this anger coming from and what am I doing to change it?” If you just act out and then don’t investigate how and why you acted out, you will keep doing the same things over and over. Then, the drama in your life becomes a manifestation of your lack of awareness.
Time for Change
When you start coming out of the trance caused by your acting out behavior, massive changes can occur. You can begin to understand how crazy and chaotic your life has become. When you stop the acting out behavior, you can look back on it and wonder, “Wow, why would I even do that? Why would I continue to go down that road that causes so much damage and so many problems?”
But first, you have to get to a place where you can say, “Okay, this acting out is not great.” You need to work through your denial and actually change your opinion about your acting out behaviors. And, in that change and realization, you’ll gain an awareness of the craziness that was going on — of the drama you’ve been creating in your own life because of your addiction. You can begin to say to yourself, “Yes, my life is not where I want to be because of decisions I’ve made and the things that I’ve done. Instead, I’m going to make some changes that move me in the right direction so that I don’t go down the same destructive road and can continue to move in a better direction. I’m going to go down a road that serves me, serves those around me, serves my goals, and takes me where I want to be long term, to the kind of non-dramatic life that I’d like to have.”
How can you stop your self-sabotaging behavior, get in the present, and make your decisions in a clear way? You have to accept that you are the one making the choices, such as fulfilling your pornography addiction, that are creating problems. You may not realize that you are — or don’t understand the extent that you are — the person causing the issues in your life.
What It Comes Down To
In the end, you have to recognize the destruction your addiction is causing and make the corresponding changes in your life to fix it. Then, you will start to see the drama go away and can begin to think, “Okay, I see what’s going on in my life, and I see what I’m going to do to adjust it accordingly.” After that, taking ownership of your life and pornography addiction is easy, as you will realize that you’re the central character in the chaos, craziness, stress, and overwhelm that happens when you act out.
With that, know that acting out is an attempt to cope, but the way that you’re coping is not a way that serves you or serves your intentions, goals, or your relationships. So, when you act out to cope, you end up making decisions that don’t serve — decisions that aren’t sound and don’t have clarity. If you’re acting out or are in the midst of a trance of the acting out behavior, you’re disconnected from yourself. If you’re wanting to make good decisions in your life, you’re going to have a hard time if you’re acting out, because you’re not clear and you’re not present in the moment.
Finding Peace, Taking Ownership, & Looking Internally
Even if your life is chaotic, you can find peace in the midst of the storm. However, if you’re the one causing the drama and chaos because of your pornography addiction, you’re not going to find peace — it’s impossible because you yourself aren’t at peace, you are in the midst of a storm you’re causing. Because of this, it’s important to understand how to fully take ownership of your actions, especially any destructive ones, such as porn addiction. If you don’t, there will be further problems to sort out.
Look at what is going on with you internally and what’s causing you to act out. This might not be an easy thing to grasp because you have to look at yourself, really strip away your defenses, and say, “Okay, what internally is going on with me that led me to this point?” That’s not easy to do, but if you really want to do this work, if you really want to get to the bottom of your acting out, look at yourself, and say, “Okay, what part of me is contributing to this issue? What exists here that needs to be addressed and dealt with?” You know that answer. You will come to that answer when you ask this question.
This is how you can take ownership of your life to face reality and change what needs to be changed. If you’re ready to take back control of your life, contact Neulia Compulsion Solutions today to learn more about our porn addiction therapy, help, and support services. We offer a free consultation so you can learn more about our treatment options and how we can help you take back control of your life. Contact us today to get started on your journey to recovery.