PORN ADDICTION — THE COST DOESN’T EQUAL THE BENEFIT

When you’re a porn addict or a sex addict in the throes of feeling an urge to act out, you can lose sight of something very important — the cost. Your addiction might say to you, “Remember how good you feel when you act out? I can help you feel great. I can help you feel better.” These kinds of thoughts can come up, attempting to convince you that acting out is a good decision. Obviously, it’s not a good decision, right? Nevertheless, the voice of your inner addict is trying to convince you about how good you felt when you acted out before. And this voice can be loud. 

Read on to learn more about porn and sex addiction, and when you are ready, reach out to our compassionate and experienced team for porn addiction help. 

 

SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

In this moment, it’s essential to consider the cost and the benefit. Acting out and giving in to your porn addiction has a significant cost, but the consistent message you get from your inner addict is that acting out is going to make you feel better. You’ll often hear your inner addict rationalize the behavior and say things like:

  • Go ahead. This is going to solve everything. 
  • You need this. 
  • You’re really stressed. 
  • You’re overwhelmed. 
  • You just want to feel better.

The problem with this argument is that there is actually no benefit to acting out. None. 

If you have experienced any of these thoughts, you are not alone. You can find help through our porn addiction therapy and support at Neulia Compulsion Solutions.

 

IT’S A TRICK – DON’T BELIEVE IT!

If you’re stressed or overwhelmed and you act out, not only have you given in to porn addiction, but your problems are still just sitting there waiting for you after you get done acting out. At the moment, it might seem like acting out has some benefit, but it doesn’t. If you stop and consider, you’ll see this is true. Once the act is done, you always end up disappointed. Then not only do you still have to deal with the stress, the triggers, and your other problems, but now you have to deal with the guilt, shame, and disconnection from yourself and your significant other. The problem that you were trying to solve or the emotion you were trying to avoid by acting out, is still there. In fact, you’ve probably made the situation worse. 

For example, imagine that you have a to-do list that you need to take care of. Your inner addict may jump in and say, “Hey, we can take care of this. We can make this better. We can act out.” Feeling overwhelmed by obligations is a common trigger for porn addicts. However, if you give in to this urge, all of those things on your to-do list that were stressing you out are still there. You still have these responsibilities to take care of and nothing has been resolved. Giving in to your porn addiction has not solved anything. Instead, you’ve simply procrastinated. 

 

ONE DAY AT A TIME

It’s important to remember, recovery from any addiction, including porn addiction, should be taken one day at a time. That’s it. It’s not huge leaps and bounds. It’s not massive breakthroughs. It’s getting up each day and going, “Okay, today I’m not going to act out. I’m just going to deal with today. I’m not going to think about dealing with 1000 days or 100 days. Just today.”   

 

NO BENEFIT

Your inner addict will try to tell you there’s a benefit to acting out. But it’s only a perceived benefit. There’s no real benefit to giving in to your porn addiction. The cost greatly outweighs the benefit because there is NO benefit. 

To put it into perspective, you’re essentially paying for something and getting nothing in return. It’s like going to the store and going “Hey, I’d like to buy this,” and you hand the clerk fifty bucks and ask for your item, but you don’t get anything. Acting out is exactly like that. It resolves nothing. 

You’ve been expending massive amounts of energy and getting nothing in return. Your inner addict will try to tell you acting out will make you feel better, but you’re only using acting out like a drug. Through porn addiction therapy, you can begin to see the picture clearly from an outside perspective, and only then can you understand the impact of your decisions. 

 

TALK TO YOUR ADDICT

If your inner addict is trying to convince you to act out, look in the mirror and say something like this: “I know there’s no benefit. You can lie, and you can try to manipulate me, and try to get me to see some perceived benefit, but the fact is that at the end of the day, the intrinsic truth remains that this will never serve me, it will never bring me any sort of joy or relief.” You can say, “Hey addict, here’s the deal. I’m not going down that road. There is no benefit. It does not serve me at all, not even a little bit.” 

This is where your mind comes into play. Challenge your inner addict. Disrupt the addict’s faulty logic. Look at the situation and know that giving in to your porn addiction is not going to serve you. In fact, it never has. Ask your addict to show you one example when you acted out and it served you. Think of one time when there wasn’t eventually shame, guilt, or disconnection. 

 

APPLY THIS TO YOUR LIFE

The process of questioning your inner addict and asking yourself aloud if a certain behavior serves you can be applied to almost any aspect of your life. Whenever you are struggling with a decision, you can ask yourself honestly, “what’s the cost?” and “what’s the benefit?” This helps to separate your thoughts from yourself and allows you to look at the concept from an outside perspective. This tactic can help you put your inner addict in its place and keep you on a healthy path to recovery. 

 

FIND HELP FOR YOUR PORN ADDICTION

If you’ve related to this article, it may be time to seek help for your porn addiction at Neulia Compulsion Solutions. We can provide you with porn addiction therapy, porn addiction support, and more to help you win the battle with your inner addict. Contact us today to learn more about our services. 

 

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