Yes, Female Porn Addicts Exist (And They May Have it Worse Than Male Addicts)

Addiction to porn is often considered something that only affects men. This thinking could be the result of several different scenarios. Perhaps it’s society’s fault for continually reinforcing the idea that women are meant to be sexualized, but not sexual. Or perhaps the media tends to assign addictions to the genders — sex for men, shopping for women. However, I …

After Your Partner’s Disclosure — Navigating Your Emotions

Disclosure, the process in which your sexually addicted partner lists out every way they abused the trust of the relationship, is an incredibly emotional process. In and amongst all the hurt, betrayal, and even numbness you may be feeling after hearing your partner’s disclosure, there lurks another, wholly unexpected emotion: a strange sense of power. In going through the disclosure …

Codependence: What It Looks Like, And Why It’s Dangerous

On the surface, the word “codependence” seems like it might mean something pleasant, or at least benign — like two people depending on each other. However, if that’s its meaning, then why are so many women’s magazines featuring it in dire headlines, or offering you dozens of quizzes to discover if you might be in a codependent relationship? There’s something …

Are You Living With a Porn Addict?

The Moment of Realization If you searched on this topic, it’s possible you’ve just had the shock of your life. Whether your partner just admitted something to you verbally, or you’ve just uncovered a troubling internet history, finding out that your partner is, or may be, a sex or porn addict is very difficult to process. Emotions are swirling right …

Love Addiction: What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Love addiction, similar to sex addiction, is a coping behavior for the pain of one’s unresolved wounds. A woman may be a love addict because she’s missing something she needed to receive in her early life to create a healthy core belief. As a counselor primarily of women, I encounter a lot of love addicts. What’s commonly called “love addiction” …

Can You Rebuild Your Relationship If Your Partner Is A Sex Addict?

Many partners of sex addicts have asked me “Was our entire life a lie?” or “Why have I stayed in this relationship as long as I have?” I believe that a crucial part of recovery and self-growth is understanding what you are working toward. Feeling some sense of positivity is crucial for your own survival in the mess of your …

Let’s Look At The Issue Of Betrayal

“A Friend Stabs You In The Front” Oscar Wilde In reflecting on this view of betrayal from Oscar Wilde, I am struck by the very nature of betrayal — disloyalty that catches you unaware and stabs you in the back. This is the betrayal that can only be done by a trusted person; someone that you believe is committed to you …

No More Sex In The City for My Sex Addict Hubby

I’ve been married for several years and thought my husband had lost his libido just from getting older. After all, he was 48 year old when we got married. Before the wedding we had sex regularly, but afterwards it almost disappeared. Even when we first were together he was never all that sexually assertive, so when I discovered porn on …

Living With Someone Who Does Not Seem Interested In YOU?

I have a few hard questions for you to think about: Are you in a relationship that is not healthy for you? Are you scared of intimacy or of being alone? (Maybe you’re scared of both.) Do you believe that deep down you are really a terribly flawed human being who doesn’t deserve to be anything but sad, lonely, and …

Pedophile Proponents – A Dangerously Delusional Belief System

As a therapist for many years, I’ve worked with men and women who were sexually molested as children, as well as with the wives of men who were addicted to various types of porn. Consequently, on reading an article advocating the decriminalization of pedophilia I felt physically sick to my stomach. (You can Google articles on the decriminalization of pedophilia. …

I Married A Sex Addict

Sex sells. I know this first hand. I modeled for bikini calendars. I did photo shoots in lingerie and tiny bikinis to sell men’s magazines. I worked at promotional events in barely-there, cleavage-showing outfits in order to attract male clientele. I was that woman in the magazines that boyfriends and husbands would lust after. I didn’t care because I was …