3 Frequently Asked Questions…

Wondering what’s going on here? And/or does this stuff really work? In this video George (Founder and Director of Compulsion Solutions) and Daniel (Director of Rapid Results) discuss the three most frequently asked questions… 1, Why can’t I stop it? 2. Can I really break free of it? 3. How long does it take?   Check it out…

Sex Addiction: Let’s Break the Stigma

When you break your arm, you go to the hospital and get it treated. There is no shame or hesitation involved. You experience the injury/pain and go to get it treated accordingly; no one blinks an eye. When it comes to psychological disorders, however, the story is entirely different. When you have depression, anxiety, sex addiction, or any other psychological …

Disclosing Your Sexual History

One of the most challenging (and daunting!) tasks in sex addiction recovery is disclosing your sexual history to your partner. Since most of it may be attributed to a progressive addiction, what you put down reveals much more than just the content. You’re vulnerable, transparent, and wide open for criticism. So why even do it? For yourself, it may be …

How “Believing Your Own Press” Can Get You in Trouble With Addiction

Recently, a story broke about a YouTube star in his 20s named Austin Jones who’s being sent to jail for 10 years. Why? Because he requested sexually explicit videos of underage girls. He did this numerous times, and the content of these videos as described in the press is terrible. It’s easy enough to look at this story, shake your …

Choosing Connection Over Performance

Men, young and old, who are porn addicts, often experience erectile dysfunction (ED) and related sexual performance anxiety. Although research on porn-induced ED is mixed, I can tell you firsthand that many of my clients, individuals and couples alike, are negatively impacted. It can be difficult to measure the far-reaching effects of viewing too much porn and how it influences …

We Need to Talk About Your Ego Situation

When speaking casually, the term “ego” gets thrown around mostly in a negative way. “Wow, the ego on that guy,” or “His ego will never let him admit failure,” etc. While these statements might technically be using the term ego correctly, it does tend to make people associate the ego with self-aggrandizing or pomposity. That’s not all it is. The …

Compulsive Behavior in Women: How You Might be Impeding Your Own Progress

You’re probably not going to like what I have to tell you, but I’m asking that you hear it nonetheless. So, here it is: Even though you are in therapy to help cope with being a sex addict partner, you may have developed compulsive behaviors of your own, and those behaviors may be holding you back from making meaningful progress. …

What Are the Factors Leading to a Sex Addiction?

Obviously, sexual addictions aren’t something you’re born with. Rather, they’re a condition that develope over time. Most people can go about their lives, form relationships, have sex, even look at porn occasionally, and not necessarily become addicted. Remember, when we say addicted, we mean that the sexual compulsion to act out has literally ruined a person’s life. Maybe they’ve lost …

A Walk in the Shoes of Someone With a Sex Addiction

Hollywood and the media have given us a certain idea of what a sex addict and sexual compulsions looks like. Maybe they’re multi-millionaire actors and actresses constantly taking home other multi-millionaire actors and actresses. Perhaps sex addiction even seems a little fun. Why not surround yourself with rich beautiful people all the time? Then, all they have to do is …

Relationship Differences—How Much Is Too Much?

Common beliefs may tell you that it is essential to have the same interests and styles to co-exist happily. Some 64% of married Americans believe that “having shared interests” is very important for a successful marriage, according to the Pew Research Center. In fact, those surveyed ranked shared interests as more essential than good sex or shared political beliefs. Conventional …

Women’s Wisdom – Make Your Holidays Manageable

If I were to ask you the question: “Are you taking care of yourself during the holidays?” I’m sure I’d get a mixed bag of responses. During this time of year, we are all very busy, stressed, and pressed for time. It seems like self-care is the last thing on many women’s lists. Today, I want my message to be …

What the Holidays Made Me Do: An Addict’s Guide to Navigating December

Every year around the holidays, people who are stressed, upset, lonely, angry, and afraid call Neulia by Compulsion Solutions. Holidays bring cheer to many, but to those who are addicted, it can bring tremendous suffering. When it seems like the whole world is coming together to celebrate, it’s very easy for an addict to feel that they are missing out. …

Porn is Being Advertised to You (and Your Kids) All the Time

When I work with sex and porn addicts, one of the biggest challenges they face is the fact that porn is being advertised constantly. I don’t just mean the crazy emails that end up in your spam folder, or sidebar ads on websites. I mean it’s showing up in video games, in public, and even through a line of clothing. …

Filling the Gaps in Porn and Sex Addiction Treatment

I want to start off by saying that in battling my own addiction to porn, I was profoundly helped by both traditional talk therapy and a 12-step program. I learned a lot from each, and I often hear from others who have been greatly helped by these approaches as well. However, for me, there were unfilled gaps in my recovery. …

Communication and Active Listening

Communication problems: By far, the number one reason couple’s come to therapy. When you think of it, it’s the number one problem in most relationship issues—family, friends, and work to name a few. Communication issues are far-reaching and impact each and every one of our relationships, particularly intimate and committed ones. The topics of the difficulty vary. Perhaps you have …

Why Specialized Addiction Therapy is Necessary

Men, women, and mental health professionals who have come to a crossroads regarding porn and/or sex addiction often contact me. Despite diligently applying themselves to weekly talk sessions or couples therapy, a sex or porn addict will not progress until the root cause of their addiction is addressed. Without the right treatment, the addict will stall out indefinitely, which is …

Women’s Wisdom: Resentment Is Part Of The Healing Process, But Only Part

Resentment is often regarded as a negative emotion to be avoided, much like jealousy. However, as partners of sex addicts, resentment is often a huge part of what you are feeling. There is honesty in resentment. The feeling is very real and is something to be faced head-on in order to progress. Think of it this way: you connected with …

Are You In A Codependent Relationship?

Codependency sounds like a dirty word. We know it sounds bad, must be bad, but what is it really? How can you tell if you are indeed in a codependent relationship? Many people find themselves repeating the same unhealthy relationship patterns despite knowing better. Do you find yourself making lots of sacrifices for your partner’s happiness, putting your own life …

No, You Can’t “Just Watch Soft-Core” If You’re a Porn Addict

Since I’ve been asked this question on more than one occasion, I figure it’s time to address it out in the open: “Can’t I just watch ‘lighter material’ and still be okay?” My answer, and honestly the answer of any sex addiction therapist, is a firm NO! Much like it would not be acceptable for an alcoholic to “just drink …

steps going upwards

Once An Addict, Always An Addict?

Anyone who has struggled with addiction or continues to struggle likely has heard the phrase, “once an addict, always an addict.” You may have a love and hate relationship with that saying. Many see it as a label of hopelessness, sort of a lifelong branding while others may look at it as just a warning…a reminder of seriously continuing to …