The TRUTH About Being Married To A Sex Addict

He swore on his children’s lives that he wasn’t having an affair. He said someone must have broken into his email account. He kept reassuring his wife that it was nothing. Finally, she got access to all of his phone records and his secret receipts. She also found a second cell phone he accidentally left on the passenger seat of …

PORN ADDICTION THERAPY SAVED MY MARRIAGE — AND MY LIFE!

Like many men, I thought my pornography sexual addiction was a dirty little secret known only to me. However, my wife started picking up on the “signs,” such as how I was not really “there” in our relationship, how I frequently had trouble “finishing” during sex, and how I had a general lack of interest in our marriage. In other …

I’m Addicted To Sex… But I’m The Only One Who Knows

I wake up every day with good intentions. I tell myself I won’t look at porn. I tell myself I can quit doing this; but by mid-day, I’ve already visited my favorite sites three times. I feel like I can’t stop myself, and that powerlessness is frightening. Does this mean I might be a sex addict? I’ve masturbated to porn …

George’s Story: I Stopped My Porn Addiction, And You Can Too

It took losing two wives before I finally admitted to myself that my use of porn was a serious problem. I finally realized I that porn and masturbation was running my life. That’s when I took the very big step (for me at the time) of calling a therapist to help me.   How did I end up in this …

5 Signs A Little Bit of Porn Has Become a Big Problem

All guys do it, right?  It doesn’t mean you have a problem. It’s not an addiction, is it? Why can’t I watch a little porn?   The problem for some men is that sex is an addictive substance, similar to alcohol and drugs.  Think of it in terms of social drinkers vs. alcoholics: one can drink, and get back to …

6 Things That Get Better After Quitting Porn

You don’t have to be a slave to porn. Below (from one of our amazing clients) are 6 things in your life that get better after you quit porn. You can do it too.Six months ago, my entire day revolved around porn. It was ruining my relationship. It was getting in the way of my goals and plans. It just …

Can “Looking” be a Symptom of Sex Addiction?

Can “looking” or ogling be a symptom of your sex compulsion? Does looking trigger you into deep fantasy leading to compulsive sexual thoughts that won’t stop until you act out? Often times “ogling” is a step in the wrong direction for sex addicts, leading to other unhealthy sexual behavior. It hurts spouses too – the web is chock full of …

What Tiger Woods Can Show Us About Sex Addiction: It Begins in Childhood

Recently, Josh Feinstein wrote a column for CBS Sports opining that Tiger Woods’ father ruined his life. Even though I don’t regularly follow golf, this caught my attention, because I completely agree with Josh’s assessment of the situation. Tiger Woods is a publicly visible, but still tragic reminder that role modeling is how we learn to live our own lives. …

Withdrawal

Attempting to stop your compulsive sexual behavior requires a non-simple truth—the need to become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Once you have acknowledged you have a sex addiction, and made the decision to get help, you need to prepare yourself for a period of withdrawal. Like any drug or substance, it’s not going to be easy ride. Going through withdrawal from …

Sex Or Porn Detox: 4 Steps

If you struggle with sexual compulsion behavior, have you tried “detoxing” from porn and/or sex? Detoxes seem to be all the rage. People are removing certain types of foods from their diets; experimenting with lessening or simply removing the levels of alcohol consumed, all in an effort to rid the body of toxins and to hopefully feel better. Comedian Jim …

Dealing with Withdrawal Symptoms of Sex Addiction

Attempting to stop your sexual compulsion behavior requires a non-simple truth: the need to become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Once you have acknowledged you need sex addiction help, and made the decision to get help, you need to prepare yourself for a period of dealing with the withdrawal symptoms of sex addictions. Like any drug or substance, it’s not going …

Can I Masturbate During Recovery?

One of the most common questions I get from the men I help with sex addiction recovery is: Can I masturbate during recovery? Will this set me back? How can I tell the difference between a “normal” act and an addictive one? To start, let’s review some working definitions on masturbation, addiction, and compulsion: Masturbation: erotic stimulation especially of one’s …

7 Signs Your Partner Is A Sex Addict

If something seems amiss in your sexual relationship with your partner, it’s possible that he is compulsively using internet porn or sexual connection with others in a destructive way and may need help with porn addiction. There are warning signs you might see if your partner is having a problem with sexual compulsive behavior: 1. He may spend a lot of private time on …

COVID-19 Is Affecting Addiction To Porn

The devastating Coronavirus, COVID-19, has affected almost every single person in our country in one way in another. It has spread to more than 150,000 people at the time of writing this blog, has severely impacted our economy, and has forced many people to work from home or not work at all. But there is another consequence of this pandemic …

3 Ways To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship Damaged By Sex Addiction

Each couple shares a sort of bank account, not an account built on currency, but rather one supported by trust. When the relationship is impacted by sex addictions or porn addictions, when one of the partners acts out sexually, that partner essentially bankrupts the account. They withdraw a large amount of trust that shakes the very foundation of the relationship. …

man dealing with porn addiction withdrawal symptoms

How to Deal with Porn Addiction Withdrawal

Is porn addiction withdrawal a thing? Yes, as with any addiction, it is absolutely a real thing. And there are plenty of practical ways to work through this stage in your brain’s healing. Here’s how to get started. Realize that Porn Addiction Withdrawal is the First Step Toward Healing. Withdrawal symptoms can tell you two really important things about your …

man experiencing the benefits of quitting porn

3 Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn

Are there any benefits of quitting porn? If you’re struggling with porn addictions, you may be wondering if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. When things get tough, you need to be reminded of what you’re ultimately fighting for. Here are 3 benefits of quitting porn that you may not have anticipated. 3 Benefits of Quitting Porn …

Rebuilding Emotional Safety In Your Damaged Relationship

Can I find safety in a world (& in my relationship) that feels unsafe? Our human form is relatively fragile. Resilient in many ways, of course, but even the most cursory amount of attention to the news reveals the many ways our bodies and spirits can be harmed. And we live in a part of the planet that is not …

Alone vs. Lonely

When working with my male clients who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior, one of the common denominators in the reasons they act out is being alone. Particularly if the behavior is pornography addiction where privacy represents one of the conditions for being able to peruse porn in the first place. A recent client on a business trip spoke about his …

Sex & Love Addiction from a Buddhist Perspective

In the land of the strange but true, as a former Tibetan Buddhist nun I fell in love with and married a man who counsels sex addicts and who is a recovering sex addict himself. Joining him in his counseling practice has allowed me a look into the lives of many people who have struggled with sex and relationship addictions. …